Sorry it's been a week since my last blog. I've been tired.
There are some misconceptions about the phrase “relationships are hard”. Because I disagree with this one, relationships are easy. You get to spend a lot of time with the person you love, hopefully in the same space and working on the same or similar household goals. Difficulty only comes in relationships when outside factors become omnipresent. Balancing your hobbies and values with theirs, spending time but not too much time with the person and trying to become predictable and exciting at the same time.
The relationship itself should, at a base level, be very positive. Those short moments when nobody expects anything of either of you and you can exist with each other can be, in my mind, blissful. If that space gets violated by outside issues, the goal should be to overcome and bring the space back to level. The longer the relationship goes on, the more your base level evolves, and the more outside “issues” become present, whether that’s financial constraints, a growing family, moving, outside family or friend group issues, etc. It’s a well-documented fact that most relationships fail, and often I amuse myself by being surprised when a friend's relationship falls apart, even though, on reflection, it always had a much greater chance of ending than lasting through the end.
Anyways, I’m not here to write some epic on relationships or my entitled perception of them. The idea popped into my head because I’ve been tired lately, but that’s nothing new. As always, I’m balancing personal cycling goals with work, social, and relationship obligations. Whether that’s ensuring the 4-person household can coexist, or that Crystal & I can. I started a training program about 4-weeks ago, and it must work because true to what the plan says, I’ve been the most tired this past week. Whether I'm taking naps mid-day, slacking on my daily chores or dog walks, there are some negative aspects I’ve been feeling. What keeps me going is that I know its cyclical, and in less than a week, I’ll be back to ‘normal’. ‘Tis the normal flow of being a human and all the thoughts that come with it.
From my perspective, most athletes have talked about the highs and lows that being so in tune with your body cause. I have a hard time predicting when the high is coming, and I’ll go through weeks of, “going through the motions,” before feeling good again. However, when the highs hit, there’s nothing better. Really, that’s why almost any self-described “athlete” you talk to keeps going, we’re all just chasing that same high. The other day, I had an interesting conversation about extreme athletes, those folks at the end of the endurance and risk-taking spectrum. The consensus was that most had, at minimum, a substance abuse problem and at maximum, a death wish. I don’t think that’s entirely true, and you’ll find a huge majority of the people performing at that level are very normal, but there’s always going to be outliers. If you type in “addict to ultra-runner” into Google, you’ll find more stories than you’d expect about people taking that path. Why? Endorphins, mostly. It’s the same shit that drugs deliver, but exercise-induced endorphins have a better side effect.
With all that in mind, I’m signed up for the Marji Gesick 100, again. It’s in 5-weeks, and I feel like I’m in the best shape I can be for that event, with another 3ish weeks of high-quality training to go before the taper begins. I spoke about my experience with Marji in a past blog, but I’ll let you take a guess at what kind of addict I am (hint: I’m addicted to abusive relationships).
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